I was 14 when the Squad adopted me. If 8-year-old me knew what I’ve been through by now, she probably would scream and run away. Honestly, she’d scream just by looking at me. When I was little I promised my parents that I’d never get a tattoo. I always feel a little guilty when I run my fingers over the dragon engraved into my skin. If I told 8-year-old me that my parents died in a car crash when I was 13 and then I was sent to live with an awful foster family, she would never believe me. After all, she wasn’t the type of girl to run away and join the most dangerous gang of criminals in the world.
“Wake up! Big day today!” Gertie screams, shoving my door open. She’s sober, for once. Here in the Squad’s little cottage/hideout, she’s everyone’s mom. Everyone is also her mom because her hangovers are the worst. She’s the only 87-year-old I know who drinks and smokes every day.
“Yep.” Gertie is a different person on heist days. She doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, and wears black instead of her usual old lady patterned dresses. She puts pearl earrings in all of her piercings, as if all old ladies have pearl earrings in their eyebrows. She even covers up her tattooed arms with a long sleeved black turtleneck. Her hair is the only thing she doesn’t change, because it’s already permed and gray and very normal-old-lady-like.You ready, Kloe?
She messes up my short black hair as she exits my room. Or, well, my little bare room in Val’s closet with a little cot that I’ve slept in for the past two years without ever straightening it up unless I had to wash the sheets.
I tuck my white strand of hair behind my ear and follow her into the kitchen, stepping over Val’s piles of jeans thrown onto the floor. Val is a jeans addict, and as far as we know, that’s her only addiction. I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t, though. She’s had a hard life. We all have here.
I sit down at the rickety table, the faces of our little gang of criminals– I mean, misfits, staring back at me.
Two-toed Joe isn’t going on this heist. Really, he never goes on any heist. He only goes in the marketplaces of Asteria City (the capital of Asteria, our little kingdom on a forgotten island) to pick people’s pockets. He’s a really stupid kleptomaniac (that means that he can’t fight the urge to steal things). His only talent is stealing. That’s the only thing he’s good at. His nickname comes from the time when he thought “toed” was the British spelling of “toothed” and it just stuck. He doesn’t actually have two toes, he has 10, don’t worry, although he does only have 2 healthy teeth (it explains why he doesn’t have a girlfriend, just a stray cat he found and named Cat. He’s not very creative, either).
Slimy Slim is reading the newspaper. He only talks to people who want to play his stupid cup game. He’s the best con artist I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a hell of a lot of criminals come and go from this place in two years.
Val is wearing jeans, what else?, and tearing an even bigger hole in them. There are three things she cares about (in this order): jeans, us, and her fortune-telling business, Val’s Visions. It’s a scam, but it pays well. She’s the only one of us who is not technically stealing from people except when we take her on heists. She’s going on this one.
Last and honestly probably least is Tricky Tilly. She’s 7 years old, we found her on our doorstep when she was a baby (who gives a child to us? Her parents must’ve been really sick of the kid) and we’ve raised her since. She’s a kleptomaniac but only steals purple things because she’s 7, so she loves princesses and purple. She’s currently wearing a purple princess dress. She’s never been on a heist. She’d just mess it up. She likes staying home with Joe.
And then there’s me. Do I fit in? No? Yes? I don’t really know. I’m just an orphan who needs a place to sleep at night and wants to impress everyone as much as possible. To earn my place in this group. To earn my place in the world.
We finish up breakfast just as Gertie finishes lecturing Joe and Slim on what not to do at home. She always calls each of our names to make sure we’re all ready for the heist since a year ago someone bailed in the middle of one.
“We’re in,” Val answers for me. I just nod.Val? Kloe?
An hour later, we’re walking around the crown room, the room where the crown was kept. After an hour of sitting in a carriage that brings the royal family a daily shipment of more food than I see in a week, we were finally inside the palace and so close to our goal. Gertie and Val are guarding the doors and the crown room feels so quiet, as if it were forbidden. Oh, wait. It is forbidden. Either way, it felt too quiet. This heist was going too well. I lifted the glass cover on the crown. It wasn’t even locked.
“Who are you?” An icy voice breaks the silence. It’s the princess.
I’ve seen so many paintings of her, but none of them even went close to how beautiful she really is. Her hair is curled and there isn’t a single hair out of place. Tilly would love her. I’m tempted to tug her hair to see if it’s a wig. I’m inclined not to, largely because of the fact that I’m holding her crown and I really don’t need her to be any more angry at me.
“What are you doing in here?” she asks. I sigh. More confirmation for the dumb blonde stereotype. What am I doing, holding her bejeweled crown that is worth more money than I’ve ever seen?
Panicking, I run.
The princess tackles me in five seconds flat. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”
I can’t exactly formulate a sarcastic response to that, mainly because I can’t breathe. That pink fluffy princess dress must be at least ten pounds. How does she even wear that?
“Answer me!” she demands, scooting over a bit so that air could enter my lungs.
“Stealing my crown, but why? I mean, you don’t seem like you need the money,” she says pointedly, looking at the brand-new stolen iPhone hanging from the back pocket of my jeans.I’m Kloe and what the hell do you think I’m doing?
“Everyone needs money. That’s, like, the number one rule in the Squad.” Shoot. The number two rule is never mention the Squad to an outsider.
“The Squad?” She laughs. “You’ve gotta be joking. Who names themselves the Squad?”
I can’t tell if she’s really stupid or just slow to understand things or genuinely wants to believe that I’m not stealing her crown for money.
“Why do you care why I’m stealing your crown?” I hand the bejeweled tiara back to her. “Just take it.”
She doesn’t take it. “I just do. You have a problem with that?”
Since this is coming from a princess who is wearing a ten-pound dress while sitting on my back because she’s just tackled me to the ground, I quickly say no. You can’t argue with a psychopath like that.
“Fine,” I say. “I ran away from an awful foster family when I was 13 and ended up joining the Squad–”
“Slow down,” she says, scooting off my back, but still holding my hand firmly. I guess she trusts me not to run away. She’s right. If someone’s nice to me once, I’ll be loyal to them forever. I guess that’s my biggest weakness. Not that I get much kindness as a thief.
I sigh. “It’s a criminal association.” I wait for the gasp. She doesn’t gasp. “And, uh, they adopted me when I ran away. We usually just steal things in Asteria City’s marketplace…” I trailed off. “Uh, you’re not going to… send us to jail?”What’s the Squad?
“No. I trust you wouldn’t hurt anyone. Right?”
“Yeah, no. We generally steal from merchants who can afford to lose something. We’re not bad people technically. There’s six of us, including me, but it can change. If there’s someone in need of help, we take them in. They took me in two years ago. I’m the second newest member. Slim joined a year ago.” I tell her about all the members, my “family.”
She laughs when I call them my family, but stops when I scowl at her, turning away in embarrassment.
“So, the Squad just steals enough to survive decently comfortably, and to pay the bills for our hideout.”
“Then why were you stealing my crown?” Damn, she’s focused.
“Sometimes we go on heists. Those are really fun.”
She gives me a pointed look.
“I mean, they’re really… eventful?” I cringe. “Listen, if you’re going to mother me, you might as well just stop now.”
“No. Sorry. Go on.” she says, hesitating. “I won’t interrupt anymore.”
“Good. I go on heists because I owe it to them. I don’t know, it is fun, but sometimes the guilt can keep you up at night, you know?” Knowing it was a rhetorical question, she doesn’t answer. She loosens her grip on my hand. If I wanted to, I could run away with her crown now.
“But I do it because they took me in and I owe it to them to do my best in anything they ask. I turned down an offer for an actual room instead of the closet I sleep in because I didn’t want to take up too much space. And I don’t want them to think I’m not good enough to be a part of their group. But you wouldn’t get it, Miss Perfect Sparkly Pink Princess.” I immediately feel bad for saying that.
She sighs. “I do. My life is great compared to yours, but–”
I shake my head. “I bet it’s worth listening to.” I pause. “Thanks… for, you know, being so nice. I don’t see kindness very often.” I give a mild little laugh.
She smiles mildly. “I don’t want to be a princess.”
I do a double take. So she’s insane, too. Great. “What do you mean, you don’t want to be a princess?”
“It’s awful. Everyone thinks I have to be perfect all the time. I wish… I wish I was part of the Squad.” She lowers her head in shame.
“What if we went pickpocketing in Asteria City today? Just us two? I’ll go back to Gertie and Val with the crown–”
“Fine. No crown, and then… I’ll meet you in Asteria City by midday?”You can’t steal the crown.
Her smile brightens and she hugs me. I suddenly feel like the shirt I’ve worn on a heist where we had to climb through sewage is insufficient compared to her ten-pound dress.
She skips away, leaving me there dumbfounded. What just happened? I force my legs to walk towards the door that Gertie and Val are guarding.
“Did ya get it?” asks Gertie.
“I…”
“No, she didn’t. Did you get caught or something?” Val asks.
“Yeah.”
“There weren’t supposed to be any guards on the inside!” yells Gertie angrily as we walk away from the palace. I just shrug.
At midday, I’m at the marketplace, wondering if she bailed. What makes you think she cares about you? She just said that stuff to get you out of her palace.
As I’m beating myself up about believing her and getting to leave, she walks up to me. I can’t even recognize her. Her hair is up in a bun, and she’s wearing a pink cloak over a maybe three-pounds dress.
“Did the outfit have to be pink?” I ask her.
She scoffs without answering. “What are we doing?”
“Finding you a better outfit?”
She rolls her eyes. “What’s your problem with pink?”
“It’s a little hard to steal something with a pink dress.”
“Fine,” she says. “Do you have anything I can change into?” I did. I knew for a fact that she was going to come dressed in pink. I pull a little black dress out of my backpack.
“Did you seriously pick out the best dress you had for me?”
The unspoken answer is yes.
After she changes (which requires a great deal of screaming to hurry up on my part and a couple of naughty words), we venture into the marketplaces. The dust is in her eyes and it’s bothering her but she doesn’t say anything.
“Woah,” she says, pointing to a stand, “those necklaces are so pretty!”
I look over. They are pretty. I smile. I’ll get her a little memoir. Plus, we are supposed to be stealing anyway.
“How may I help you?” asks the merchant at the stand. He looks about my age, so he must actually be the merchant’s son. I love stealing from big-headed teenage boys.
“Do you like my hair today? Do you think this necklace fits me? Can you help me try it on?” As the boy plays with my hair a bit while he adjusts the necklace that clearly doesn’t even need adjusting, I slip the prettiest and pinkest necklace I can find in his shop into my pocket. I don’t even think he’ll mind since he got an entire minute and a half to play with my hair.
“No, I don’t think I like it that much,” I say with a fake sigh. Letting these arrogant boys down not-so-gently is my favorite part of stealing from them.
“It’s on the house,” he says with a grin. “I’m always here every day if you want to see me again. You can ask my dad if you can see Kaiden if I’m not here.” He adds with a wink. I cringe (hopefully not too noticeably) and smile forcedly.
“Of course.”
“How’d it go?” the princess wants to know.
“It went great,” I say, pulling her necklace out of my pocket. “I even got a free one, Princess. Well, legally at least.”
“Please don’t call me Princess.”
“Then what do I call you? Your Majesty?”
“Just Allie.”
“Okay, Just Allie. How about you try stealing something now?”
The sparkle in her eye tells me she’s been waiting for this. I explain how to charm teenage merchants, which would definitely be easier for her with her long, blonde hair than me and my soiled clothes and dirt on my face.
“Hey,” she says, approaching a tall, blonde guy who is selling earrings. I watch as the princess smiles and talks to the boy, secretly pocketing a set of pink earrings to match her wardrobe. Obviously.
For a moment, everything feels perfect, as if I’m invincible. I should’ve known invulnerability never lasts.
As soon as Allie swindles her fifth merchant, a short black-haired boy with sparkly green eyes, a sleek black car makes its way across the marketplace. That’s weird. Cars aren’t supposed to go into the marketplace. As it drives past me, I hear the man in a suit driving call out, “The princess is missing! Reward to anyone who can find her!” as another man sitting in the passenger seat hands me a flyer, as if I didn’t already know what the famous Princess Alisteria looks like.
Allie gives me a panicked look. As I grab her hand and pull her out of the marketplace, I realize that the Allie who can sweet talk sixteen-year-old boys into giving her free jewelry isn’t the same person as Alisteria, trapped in her role as a princess. For reference, I like Allie much better.
“I’m sorry,” she apologizes as we get to my room. Or, well, closet.
“What for?” I ask. “I had the best day of my life! I like you better this way.”
“What… way?” She looks confused.
“Y’know,” I say, “ more… yourself. Less… trapped as Princess Alisteria, heir of the kingdom.” I pull her into a hug. It feels weird hugging almost a complete stranger that I met that day, but I can tell she doesn’t mind.
She smiles but doesn’t say anything.
“They won’t find you here,” I say. “You can live here as long as you want.”
There is a silence, then she says, “Do you know the story of the Goddess of Asteria?”
I smile bittersweetly. “Yeah. My mom used to tell me about her before she died.”
“How much do you remember?” She pauses, thinking. “It’s… important.”
“Well, she was a goddess of nature or something–”
“Nature’s harmony, yes.”
“And a while ago, the people began disrespecting her environment, she decided to disappear and take sixteen years in a mortal form. If she found that the world was worthy to keep going, she would go back to being a goddess. If not, she would destroy the world. Starting with this island. I can’t really remember how it ends. Is that right?”
“Yes except… Do you know when she disappeared?” Allie looks troubled.
“There’s not really a time frame… It’s just a story, right?”
She doesn’t say anything.
“Right?”
“It was sixteen years ago,” she says quietly. “She said she would decide today.”
The room goes silent. “Do you… do you think she’s going to destroy it all?” I ask, scared of the answer. The world isn’t exactly a good place to be.
Allie sighs, giving me a faint little smile. “Before today, she would’ve.”
“What?”
“Kloe.” She still remembers my name from when I told her in the crown room. “Kloe, I’m the goddess. Don’t you get it? Princess Alisteria? Asteria? Do you not get it?”
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” she says with a smirk.You? You’re the goddess?
“No, no, I didn’t mean that, I just… did I seriously teach a mythical goddess how to steal from sixteen-year-old merchant boys with big egos?”
She laughs but doesn’t answer.
Shoot. I just showed the goddess who is going to destroy our world what a crappy place it can be. Great.
“So… uh, is the destruction gonna be painful?” I try asking, with a little smile. Maybe I can use my natural charm to weasel my way out of being responsible for the end of the world as we know it. This is bad.
“I’m not going to destroy anything,” she says. “You’ve proved that if mankind isn’t worth saving, womankind sure as hell is.”
What. The. Actual. Hell. A missing goddess just told me that I saved the world. Val doesn’t hide her drugs in her closet, does she? No, I would’ve realized that by now.
“Is this… real?” I asked incredulously, feeling invincible for the second time today. And for the second time, everything goes horribly wrong.
“Hands up, ladies,” the driver in the suit from before says, holding a gun, bursting through the closet doors. “Princess Alisteria, you’re coming with us.”
“I can’t…” She looks panicked and I remember. According to the story, the goddess had to be in nature to return to her original state, and by what the guard’s gun was suggesting, they were probably going to lock her up in the castle for the rest of the day. Therefore, either I get Allie outside before the sun goes down or the whole world is doomed. I always get stuck in the most fun predicaments. And in those very fun predicaments, I always tend to do something impulsive that could get me killed.
So for the second time today, I run, except this time it’s more in the direction of the danger. A.K.A., the man with the gun, the one that’s currently pointed at my head.
Everything happens in a blur after that. I slam into his body, knocking the gun to the floor, and screaming a quick, “run” to Allie, which she obeys. I pin the guard’s arms to his back and knock him out like two years as a criminal taught me. He should be fine, except for a killer headache.
Once he’s out cold, I run outside, where Allie is standing. The sun is almost below the horizon, the world is about to end, and for a minute, I think she’s changed her mind. Then she scoops me up into a giant hug, tears flowing down both our faces.
“Allie, please don’t go,” I say, knowing that if she listens to me, it’s gonna get me killed.
She smiles. “I love you, Kloe. Thanks for the best day of my life.”
She lets go and looks up to the sky. At first, nothing happens and I wonder if she’s been playing with me this whole time. Then, her body starts becoming lighter and lighter and she starts floating and a bright light starts flowing from her. If we were in a movie, there would be hopeful music playing. Then, suddenly she dissolved into a warm light, and I found myself looking at the sun.
Rubbing my eyes, I go back inside, knowing I’ll never see Allie again. As I try to open the door, I hear a bird squawking and turn around instinctively. It’s just a bird, I tell myself. Then I look down and see a small pink package.
It’s wrapped with light pink paper and a fuchsia bow. It had a little note attached to it that just said, For Kloe, savior of the world. That made me laugh. Me? Savior of the world? Pfft.
I unwrapped it and inside was a small, pink necklace and a matching pair of pink earrings. The set we had stolen together. That’s when I knew I would see Allie again every day when I swindled teenage boys in the marketplace. And that’s when I started stealing only pink.
